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"Why are you single?" - The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
"Why are you single?"
Why do people keep asking why I'm single? Seriously, what kind of question is that?
It's hard to answer and feels kind of pointless even when there is an answer (which is rarely straightforward).

Last night after the questionable incident with the cast member, after the performance, after wandering around the 'Coney Island' part of New York-New York, after getting back to my car, after accidentally going all the way up the parking garage to the roof... after all that, I felt like I was hit by a brick with an overwhelming feeling of being lonely. Not depressed or suicidal or horny, just lonely.

I made it home fine. I wasn't thinking about throwing myself off the parking garage, thank you very much.
The scenario had crossed my paranoid mind but there was no intent.

As for the question of "Why are you single?"?
Because I'm neutral to masculine to plain out freaky geeky and most people can't tell I'm gay?
Because most guys I'm interested in turn out to be straight?
Because most gay guys I'm interested in don't give me the time of day or try to make things work?
Because my criteria is too picky and am looking for something most people aren't open to?
Because I'm shy and don't know how to approach guys?
Because I appear needy, or desperate, or clingy, or snobbish?
Because I won't get sexual with just anyone just to have sex?
Because ... just because.

Maybe all of the above, maybe some of the above, maybe something else entirely. *shrug*

Current Mood: blank blank
Current Music: "We Are Okay" by "Joshua Radin" on "Simple Times" (Pandora)

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Comments
proemial From: proemial Date: March 17th, 2010 08:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Because I'm neutral to masculine to plain out freaky geeky and most people can't tell I'm gay?
Because most guys I'm interested in turn out to be straight?
Because most gay guys I'm interested in don't give me the time of day or try to make things work?
Because my criteria is too picky and am looking for something most people aren't open to?
Because I'm shy and don't know how to approach guys?
Because I appear needy, or desperate, or clingy, or snobbish?
Because I won't get sexual with just anyone just to have sex?
Because ... just because.


All of these described me. I understand. I'm not single now, but that is because I found someone else whom this description also fits -- in a way that matches myself.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: March 18th, 2010 12:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Bravo. It's heartening to know that someone in this scenario is able to find someone.
proemial From: proemial Date: March 18th, 2010 01:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Its lonely, I agree. But it isn't forever.
mcfnord From: mcfnord Date: March 17th, 2010 09:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Should you have a "gay" tag somewhere to help? I thought little signals were all part of the gaydom. I feel bad for gay guys who hit on me because they must have to break a lot of eggs to make an omlette.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: March 18th, 2010 12:30 am (UTC) (Link)
I have 'gay' tagged on pretty much all of my online profiles. It would only take a couple of clicks for someone who sees me on one site to confirm that I am.

There is 'pride' jewelry and what-not, but I find them kind of tasteless. A little too blatant I guess? I don't feel that I could wear them, but all the more power to the people who are in my kind of situation and do.

Beyond the obvious somehow some people have 'gaydar', which I lack completely. It's difficult at times. Unless you see someone at a gay bar or club then there is very little way for me to ascertain that they are gay.
scixual From: scixual Date: March 18th, 2010 12:36 am (UTC) (Link)
gay underwear. I'm tellin' ya.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: March 18th, 2010 01:32 am (UTC) (Link)
If only I wore my pants down to the knees, or even below the waist. :-P
mcfnord From: mcfnord Date: March 18th, 2010 08:11 am (UTC) (Link)
happy homohunting, and Godspeed.
scixual From: scixual Date: March 18th, 2010 12:36 am (UTC) (Link)
I think it's often intended as a compliment. Granted, there are some underlying assumptions, but still, the intent is often good.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: March 18th, 2010 01:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Hmm, yeah, if someone has gotten to know you even a little then it could be a compliment. From a complete stranger it seems more like a crass comment/question. Either way it rubs in the fact that you're single and haven't even been able to get a date.

This particular encounter leads me to believe he was just looking for a hookup for himself or someone he knew. I can't be sure of that based just on what was said, though. He seemed a little surprised when I said I wasn't looking for sex.

*shrug*
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