I watch people talking, so obliviously. It's as if they don't care about anything. I watch them in their happy lives. They have so many things yet they complain about not having enough. I see them having deep connections with those around them, in ways I have none. I want to be happy. I want to actually feel connected with someone. It doesn't have to be on a bf/bf level but that does seem to be the only level I could possibly find it. I'm jealous of other people.
It hurts. It really does.
And then my brother is coming down today, and soon enough he'll know about my problems. I don't like showing my problems. I seem to be the only one who shows their problems and I feel so weak because of it.
:-( *on the brink of tears* (which, in case you don't know, is so very rare for me)