Russell (zimzat) wrote,

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Long rant/spam

ARGH! I've started writing things to like half a dozen different people yet didn't send any of them. Dang it. I don't want bother anyone.

So, the reason I originally wanted to write this entry: Why do people hold me in such a high regard? I don't remember giving them any reason to. Quite the contrary, I've given them (on purpose or unintentionally) just about every reason to think I'm pathetic... yet they don't. Instead they respect me and treat me kindly. I don't understand it.

Oh, my dad says if I ever want to talk or need a sounding board, feel free to come to him instead of writing them in "that journal." He also wants to talk to me about some things, such as things I talk about in my journal entries, but also says they're not things he can leave a comment on the entries about. What the heck is he going on about now?

So then there's the nice guy named Cody I just started talking to tonight. He seems cool. Err, no, nothing likely to happen. In fact, he's hoping to hook up with some other guy at the moment. Like a brick wall, it feels like Karma revisiting me to say "You screwed it up with the first one so I'm going to tempt you with the rest but not let you have any." Give me a break!

Umm, anything else to talk about? Sure, why not.

I'll make this section about Tim. I'm not "obsessed" with him, but it looks like that cause he keeps stone walling me and also sending me mixed signals that I'm not sure how to interpret. One moment he's pretty nice and the next it's like... he's not there.

I firmly believe a good cuddling can smooth over, or make a good start to, any relationship. Provided it's a romantic interest relationship, that is.

There was a conversation earlier with Kyle where I was so jumpy that I just about ran him over (metaphorically speaking, seeing as he lives approximately a thousand miles away). He says he doesn't know what to talk about with me because I'm so unpredictable. I used to like being unpredictable and abnormal, but now it seems that's one of the biggest things getting in the way between me and other people. Or at least that's what it feels like, to me. huh...

Okay, okay, that's enough for tonight. I'll try to refrain from spamming any more tonight, but I make no promises.
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