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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
No advice here
It's surprising that I'm trying to find someone to talk to but I already know what everyone I can think of would say. *sigh* one of the problems of analyzing everything and everyone is you have no one to turn to when you need advice yourself... cause you already know their advice.

[Edit: I'm going to end up spamming my journal with depressing thoughts again. How pathetic.

[Edit: On the other hand, no one wants to hear me ramble about being depressed so I'll simply refrain from posting anything. I seem good at that, refraining from doing things. From eating, from working, from talking.]]

Current Mood: groggy groggy
Current Music: "World of Our Own" by Westlife

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Comments
scixual From: scixual Date: February 8th, 2004 08:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Don't refrain. Do.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 8th, 2004 08:58 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Do... what?

I just can't do what I think I need to do. Nor what I ought to do. I'm stuck inbetween two places that aren't for me. In limbo.

I want to quit school because of how my mind is going right now, and how little work I'm getting done in it. But I can't because I don't think I would get medicare and my parents would then hound me to get a job. They'd also get on to me about the money wasted. I don't think they'll ever be satisfied with anything I do... And then there's Jo, which I promised rides from class. *sigh* screwed if I do, screwed if I don't.

The more people tell me I need to eat the less I eat. I agree with them that I need to eat... but I'm not. >_
ellixis From: ellixis Date: February 8th, 2004 10:57 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

I think he meant not to stop posting stuff you want to get out of your brain just 'cause you don't think people want to hear it. ... If we don't, we'll skip it, and you'll still have gotten it out of your system. Bottling is generally not so lovely an idea.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 8th, 2004 11:36 am (UTC) (Link)
  1. Me posting it doesn't necessarily get it out of my brain. Just in more than one place.

  2. I always read things other people post, although occasionally not at the time they are posted (May be a few hours or a few days delay before I get back to them)

  3. Yeah, bottling isn't good... but when you know what people will tell you it's generally useless to talk about things to them because they can't really help you. I can't talk to my parents because in the end all they'll say is "get saved" or "we don't have the money" and my sister's advice is along the lines of "Screw them! Do what you want regardless of who it hurts!" Then the precious few friends I have would over react or any number of other piece of advice that doesn't really apply to me (and/or think I'm ... erm, depressing).

  4. Sorry... depressing ramble, again.

ellixis From: ellixis Date: February 8th, 2004 12:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sometimes it helps to see it outside your head. I catch things I didn't catch sometimes when I see my thoughts in text.

Why are you apologizing to me in your own journal, silly?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 8th, 2004 01:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Because... I was rambling in your comment to my entry and not to the entry itself...

Yes, I'm weird like that. I don't think anyone will ever come close to understanding and/or accepting me entirely.
ellixis From: ellixis Date: February 8th, 2004 02:32 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Why does one have to understand to accept?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 8th, 2004 02:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

"and/or"
one or the other... I didn't specificly say someone had to understand to accept me. But I have found unless they understand my motives they don't accept me.
ellixis From: ellixis Date: February 8th, 2004 02:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Do you accept youorself?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 8th, 2004 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Not really. I find myself a failure and idiot. I don't think I'm intelligent or smart, just logical and use common sense. I'm lazy and ... yeah. anyway.
ellixis From: ellixis Date: February 8th, 2004 04:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Sounds awfully familiar. Am I a failure and an idiot too, then?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 8th, 2004 05:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Are you? :-\
ellixis From: ellixis Date: February 8th, 2004 05:08 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

I don't think so. Do you?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 11th, 2004 08:39 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

I dunno. *shrugs*

If you don't consider yourself a failure then you're not really a failure, I suppose. I equate the success of others based on how they see themselves.
ellixis From: ellixis Date: February 11th, 2004 11:05 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Well... one thing to consider is that failing at something does not make YOU a failure.
queenexodus From: queenexodus Date: February 9th, 2004 08:24 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

My advice is not 'screw them, no matter who it hurts'. My advice is to do what is best for you. If you are unsure and go to someone, anyone (whoever) and they give you negative or bias advise than yes, Screw them don't listen! Some thing to think about when seeking advise "Consider The Source." Have they been there for you, have they given you bad advise before?

Another thing.. You don't have to feel bad about yourself because you are feeling depressed or confused right now. Being depressed is hard enough. Feelings come and feeling go. When you are not as depressed or having a good day, make a list. Things I can do to not feel as depressed. Find ways to make yourself feel better. You know the saying you are what you eat, you are what you say. You are smart. Not Einstein but who is?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 11th, 2004 08:37 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Okay, I think you're not making a connection here.

Depressed IS feeling bad about yourself or your situation.
scixual From: scixual Date: February 8th, 2004 04:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Do or do not. Do not refrain from doing, see?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 9th, 2004 07:48 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

Erm, not really. I see but it's easier said than done.

Your replies as of late have been short and cryptic, ya know?
scixual From: scixual Date: February 9th, 2004 04:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
I am channeling the Yoda.
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