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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
Weekend Update
It's about 2:30 or 3:30 AM as I write this in my notepad. If I recall correctly I went to bed about 9:45-10 PM. Right now I'm in the other upstairs bedroom in my brother's house because my sister has my original one as her bedroom.

Saturday Casey was over at about 3 PM. Surprisingly enough my sister got along with him very well. She seems to finally be thinking outside of the box constraints our parents put over life.

Jonathan's birthday present is lying in front of me right now. Her name is Tawny and she is a 3-year-old mixed color coat cat. She appears to have gone into sleep land now. A moment ago she was pawing my pencil & paper and keeping me from writing.

My parents both briefly met Casey however they didn't get to quiz him like they seem to want to. About the only time they actually talked to him is Saturday night while we were playing Cashflow. They only got about four consecutive questions out before it was their turn again and they didn't get back to him. They'll probably quiz me later.

Here is the part where I question life and then answer myself. Feel free to chime in with your comments.

Is it ok to drastically change one's life virtually overnight simply because of a longing for something or lack of like for one's own current like? (Yes, hear me now, I don't like my life) ... The answer: Not really. If I left Gonzales this instant I would be dropping out of this semester of college and reneging on my responsibility of driving Jo from/to class. On the other hand what I would be going to is supportive family (brother & sister), positive environment, and, of course, Casey. I would be able to see him a lot more often if I moved in with my brother (a difference of 400 and 120 miles from Gonzales and Dyersburg, respectively) or even in with him. ... I think I had better delay the moving in with Casey idea until he is settled into his new apartment and we're formally boyfriends, at least.

I want to get him, being Casey, a ring for when we do formally consider each other boyfriends. Maybe it's too much but I'm thinking of a simple ring, maybe with a single heart design, and engraved with my (?) name on the inside. Yeah, sappy.

Right now the last 19 1/2 months seem like a blink of an eye. One thing after another, all short lived and barely rememberable. GED Boss program, Arizona, Theater job, PDI, Xenocide, College... All about as memorable as that.

The cat and I have changed positions since last writing about her. We're now both lying long way on the bed, her snug against my chest. Makes writing a little sloppy but that's ok. ... She just got off the airbed and onto the corner of the sleeping bag that hangs off the bed. ... Opps, there she goes. heh

Yesterday my brother showed me a log of this guy's attempt at creating a better spaceship that could make it out of the atmosphere. There is a thing called the X-Prize -- 10 million dollars to the first person, or group, to get to a certain distance in the atmosphere twice in two weeks. After telling me of this I then went about, as Jonathan so elegantly put it a little later, "reinventing the spaceship" again and again. In about an hour I had gone over about a dozen ideas for a ship. Two of the ideas I considered was a jet-like engine & a rail gun propulsion, both of which fell flat or already has someone trying to do it, but the idea I like the most is the Ion Drive.

My brother tells me the Ion Drive only has like 1/10th of a g propulsion so it's not efficient enough with the earth's gravity being what it is. Since abandoning that idea and going through all the others, seeing as that was one of the first, I've come back to consider it again. Not just as a "not good enough" rocket engine but a tech itself, possibly for other things as well like hover boards. Some of the things I've been wondering are "Why does it only have a weak force?" "Is there some way to increase the output rate and speed of output without significantly increasing the costs?" and "Would specifically increasing the charge of the particles before they exit increase the output?" These kinds of questions have been gathering in my skill.

Sunday after Casey left around Noon I was hairpin triggered. It was surprising to find myself like that because I didn't feel it in the least. It was as if one moment I was calm & collected then when someone said something to me I would snap back before I even realized it. bleh.

Sunday night I just wanted to collapse. I felt, and still feel, utterly drained again. We, my brother, sister, and I, didn't go to the movies because I didn't want to see another movie (watching the same movies over and over for several weeks can do that to a person). Instead we stayed home and played Uno. Of about a dozen games played with only four players I didn't win any.

I can feel my energy waning again (probably my stomach) so I'll try to leave this entry off on a good note. Casey is moving out of his grandparent's house this Tuesday (aka tomorrow) and has offered to pay for the gas it would take to drive to & from his place any weekend I want to visit him. (Wow...) From Gonzales that would be approximately 800 miles round trip (two tanks in the Mini-van) or about 250 miles from my brother's house round trip. huh (Not as good of a note as I would have preferred but ... meh. Could've been worse and it's still food for thought.)

... *sigh* g'night

Current Mood: melancholy melancholy
Current Music: "Listen to your heart" by Roxette

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