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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
No cuts for you
So here I sit in the parking lot of a closed shopping center somewhere inbetween Gonzales and Baton Rouge. I just drove about 24 miles in a semi-circle for no reason thanks to not having somewhere to go.

Am I running away from something? Possibly. Am I running to something? Not really, it seems. Something is wrong and I can't seem to find a good answer out of anyone.

Thanks to my sister I'm now in twists. Yesterday she suggested I move out of our parent's house and in with my brother and her. On the way home today I tossed it around in my head until finally I mentioned it to my parents about dropping college this semester and pursuing programming instead at my brother's house, with a small side job to pay for my food. Surprisingly enough they were supportive of this. Sadly though, when I called my sister she was not.

*wince*

Another idea I tossed around in my head was moving in with Casey, but he has a hectic enough life and doesn't need me making things harder. hmm... on a side note, I heard "Want to know what love is" by Foreigner on the radio on the way home and thought of him.

No one to talk to that can help me. I expect plausible solutions that work for me. When I have researched out all I seem to get are things that take forever to work (and what am I supposed to do in the mean time? Suffer?) or "Suck it up" which is a million times easier said than done. *sighs wistfully and sadly*

Dang it. I'm just not cut out for this world. As mrtrblmkr1 put it, I'm a Mac (or Linux) in a Windows world. (For the non-computer people, those are incompatable for the most part)

WHO THE HECK NEEDS THE WORLD TO SAY "NO" AND CRUSH THEIR SPIRIT WHEN THEIR OWN FAMILY DOES THAT PERFECTLY WELL?!!??!

Current Mood: depressed depressed
Current Music: "Yellow" by Coldplay

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Comments
From: darthen Date: February 17th, 2004 01:11 am (UTC) (Link)
*Hugs you, warmly*
Sorry for the whole of that, Zimzat... I know you expect help with solutions, but, well... I'm a bit limited. Anyway, if you want to talk, drop me a mail, okay?
scixual From: scixual Date: February 17th, 2004 01:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Your family could not do it without your assistance.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: February 17th, 2004 05:46 am (UTC) (Link)
Sounds like the "suck it up" answer in the way that it's a million times easier said than done.
scixual From: scixual Date: February 17th, 2004 12:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Similar, perhaps -- just know that you have some part in the process.
4 comments or Leave a comment