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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
The Truth of the Matter
I figure I'll make one more entry before I'm done with it all. I'll try to keep this short so people actually read it. Well, maybe they will or maybe they won't. It doesn't matter to me any more. This is more of a 'this is how it all ended' record for me than anything else.

See, nothing matters to me anymore. Not my honesty, promises, or responsibilities. Not even my safety, well being, or life. None of it is worth anything to me. Oh, there's still one little barrier concerning cursing that hasn't quite shattered yet, but in due time I expect that to go down too. Maybe I'll go get drunk, or have sex. No, those would require I actually see other people.

Despite what I've been saying, I don't want to be around other people. I don't really want to be social or anything else. I just want to be left alone. Trying to have meaningful conversations with anyone is a chore for me, because none of it matters to me.

It's not as eloquent as when I thought about this in my head, but that's all I have to say. To anyone who reads this, I wish you well in whatever life you have or choose for yourself, but don't try to put me in it.
5 comments or Leave a comment
dante_sensei From: dante_sensei Date: June 5th, 2004 07:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

I'm at a loss for words.

P.S. Why'd you smack me?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: June 5th, 2004 10:00 pm (UTC) (Link)

One could say I'm truely F'ed up.

P.S. Cause I could.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: June 6th, 2004 11:18 am (UTC) (Link)
P.S.S. Cause you're never online anymore.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: June 6th, 2004 11:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Let's try that again:

P.S.S. Cause you're almost never online anymore.
scixual From: scixual Date: June 5th, 2004 09:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
When it looks bleak, it looks like it has always been bleak.

But it's not so. You do soemthing stupid like kill yourself and I'll be angry.
5 comments or Leave a comment