February 16th, 2004

Ctrl+Alt+Del - Scott & Ted

Weekend Update

It's about 2:30 or 3:30 AM as I write this in my notepad. If I recall correctly I went to bed about 9:45-10 PM. Right now I'm in the other upstairs bedroom in my brother's house because my sister has my original one as her bedroom.

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  • Current Music
    "Listen to your heart" by Roxette
Distressed, Tombo - Distressed

I hate the system

Why can't I fight the system? Why do I have to do things like everyone else? If we haven't realizing doing things like everyone else isn't my thing then...

So much for a supportive and positive family in Tennessee... I guess I screwed that possibility 18 months ago. *sigh*

... *_* oh...
uh...
so...
*sighs again* dang it
  • Current Music
    "Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden
Tombo - Disappointed

No cuts for you

So here I sit in the parking lot of a closed shopping center somewhere inbetween Gonzales and Baton Rouge. I just drove about 24 miles in a semi-circle for no reason thanks to not having somewhere to go.

Am I running away from something? Possibly. Am I running to something? Not really, it seems. Something is wrong and I can't seem to find a good answer out of anyone.

Thanks to my sister I'm now in twists. Yesterday she suggested I move out of our parent's house and in with my brother and her. On the way home today I tossed it around in my head until finally I mentioned it to my parents about dropping college this semester and pursuing programming instead at my brother's house, with a small side job to pay for my food. Surprisingly enough they were supportive of this. Sadly though, when I called my sister she was not.

*wince*

Another idea I tossed around in my head was moving in with Casey, but he has a hectic enough life and doesn't need me making things harder. hmm... on a side note, I heard "Want to know what love is" by Foreigner on the radio on the way home and thought of him.

No one to talk to that can help me. I expect plausible solutions that work for me. When I have researched out all I seem to get are things that take forever to work (and what am I supposed to do in the mean time? Suffer?) or "Suck it up" which is a million times easier said than done. *sighs wistfully and sadly*

Dang it. I'm just not cut out for this world. As mrtrblmkr1 put it, I'm a Mac (or Linux) in a Windows world. (For the non-computer people, those are incompatable for the most part)

WHO THE HECK NEEDS THE WORLD TO SAY "NO" AND CRUSH THEIR SPIRIT WHEN THEIR OWN FAMILY DOES THAT PERFECTLY WELL?!!??!
  • Current Music
    "Yellow" by Coldplay