August 3rd, 2014

Self Portrait

Future Thoughts & Motions

The main thing I've been thinking about with regard to my future is that it's time for change. I'm still thinking about what kind of change and just how much to change.

My first thought is to change everything. Clothes, location, phone number, online moniker, email, contacts, career, furniture, activities, computer, bed, and so on and so forth. I'm tired of it all and I want a fresh start. There is a lot of things I have that I no longer use or haven't used in years, such as old video games, consoles, books, magazines, wires, papers, discs, boxes, etc. I have over 330 contacts in my address book and rarely talk to any of them, many of whom are old colleagues I rarely talked to when we worked together, people from dating sites that often even a first date didn't go through, and more. I want to travel and get around, see the sights, and meet new people.

I've mentioned this possibility to three people so far, one of which is my therapist, and the other two of which had the first response of ”I don't see what problem that would solve". Which was kind of disappointing because it felt like they don't really understand me or how I feel about it.

This isn't something I can do overnight so I won't be making any rushed decisions and disappearing just yet. In the mean time I'm going to start playing a new game of "disconnect or reconnect". I've already played round one with my address book, Facebook, Twitter, and Skype lists. I've gone from the above 330+ address book contacts to less than 50, and there's another dozen I'm still considering. My next steps will include going through things in my apartment and deciding what to keep or toss, and thinking more about what I want to do with my career. My lease at this place isn't up until the end of November so it's unlikely I'll be moving before that.

Another thing I'm looking into make happen in the mean time is a vacation. There's a cruise coming up that I'm going to try getting into, and whether that happens or not I'm going to finally get my butt out of Seattle for visiting places. I want to visit Pennsylvania, see Philadelphia, sit on a beach under an umbrella, and go to more places unknown. Going outside of the continent (Britain, Japan, Scotland, Ireland, Hawaii) may yet be too far out of the picture, but it's still on my wish list.
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