Russell (zimzat) wrote,
Russell
zimzat

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This is my soul searching

First off, this isn't how I imagined things happening before I moved up here, but now that I am here it's what is happening despite that. Is it really hitting me over the head like I said it would have to? *blink blink* Time will tell.

A couple of nights ago I went over to iceraver's house and have been there since then. I just met him a few days before moving up here, so it does seem kind of sudden. Our conversations online had been leading to it, no surprise there seeing how big of a flirt I am -.-', so things skipped a few beats and after we talked we put on a movie (Brother Bear) we cuddled on the sofa.

Now, I'll admit that a relationship with him wouldn't be perfect, very few ever are, but as far as I've seen our personalities are on similar wavelengths. We got along very easily and it didn't take long before I felt like I could be myself around him. I felt like I could be the literal yet laid back person who sees how things can work and adjust for why they wouldn't. I had given little consideration to being with a smoker before now, but despite the fact iceraver smokes it doesn't bother me much because he only smokes outside. It was a little interruptive that he would go out every so often to smoke but not bothersome.

If it's even possible at this stage, I'm not going to rush this into a relationship. I want to be pretty sure we'd work out on a more extended period before I commit myself to anything right now. This may be partially because of what I was thinking just before coming up here, or that my last relationship officially ended less than a week ago. I am deciding now that even if things do work out and iceraver wants me to live with him I won't consider it until I have a steady job with which to support myself with. Since he lives just a few streets over from here I can get a job and still have that job if I moved. I won't do what happened in Lafayette with the job situation again.




Which reminds me, maybe I haven't said this enough, or people keep missing it somehow, but when I'm told something is 'impossible' or 'hard' I'll often set out to prove them wrong. Sometimes this will backfire and it'll make me look bad or like an idiot, but I'll keep doing it just because I was told I can't do it.

P.S. I'll have a desk to put my computer on tomorrow so I'll be back at my computer and online a bit more then.
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