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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
An apology for the last few days
I would like to apologize to everyone for these last few days. I've said some things I shouldn't have, and made myself into a hypocrite. I expected things I shouldn't have, and for this I'm sorry.

I'm a selfish brat and, what makes it worse, I know it. I get my eye on something I don't have and want and I become ungrateful for what I do have and get.

I expected attention, and when I didn't get it I threw a fit. I wanted other people to make decisions for me, and when the decision wasn't what I wanted I threw a fit. I thought that if I couldn't have what I wanted no one else should have what they want, and when they got it anyway I threw a fit.

I seem to be good at throwing fits, but it's time I change that. Somewhere I lost sight of my logic and let my feelings take over. I could blame it on someone, but that wouldn't be fair because I shouldn't have let it happen in the first place.

My role in life isn't to feel that deep surge of emotions others do, but to be the logical and solid support others can turn to. I've been trying to resist it, to run away from it and be something else, but I lost myself and have been flailing around trying to grab to something.


Hear my resolution, world. I will keep myself grounded and centered. I will not be depressed again. I will make my own decisions, and I won't regret them whatever the outcome may be.

Current Mood: content content
Current Music: "Can't Stop Loving You" by Phil Collins

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Comments
scixual From: scixual Date: March 14th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
"My role in life isn't to feel that deep surge of emotions others do, but to be the logical and solid support others can turn to. I've been trying to resist it, to run away from it and be something else, but I lost myself and have been flailing around trying to grab to something."

Says who?

I can see "grounded and centered" being a good place to stand, but being depressed is part of the 'coaster ride that is life. We get the dips and the hills, or we get a flatline -- which is death.

I care about you, Zim, and I am proud to see you taking a stance and taking responsibility for your actions and your life.

I don't want to see you hurt yourself by trying to be superhuman, though. Being depressed isn't a bad thing. It's just something that happens. And nothing triggers it more than resisting it.

*hug*
damnitnicole From: damnitnicole Date: March 15th, 2005 01:16 am (UTC) (Link)
*point up*

What he said.
iceraver From: iceraver Date: March 15th, 2005 02:13 am (UTC) (Link)
*points up, too* What they said.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: March 15th, 2005 03:49 am (UTC) (Link)
You already know what it says, but I'll play fair.

*points down*
zimzat From: zimzat Date: March 15th, 2005 03:49 am (UTC) (Link)
*points down* =)
zimzat From: zimzat Date: March 15th, 2005 03:28 am (UTC) (Link)
I know I'm not perfect; I don't expect to never make mistakes or be wrong, but that doesn't mean I should get depressed whenever things don't go my way or I'm not getting attention.

I don't get depressed if I don't think I should be. When I do get depressed, it's because I don't see why I shouldn't be.
scixual From: scixual Date: March 15th, 2005 06:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Fascinating.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: March 15th, 2005 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
*raises an eyebrow curiously*
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