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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
Dream: Personals, Guys, Kittens, and Hanging.
I just had a very interesting dream. I was with my sister back at our house in Louisiana with our parents. I was online trying to hook up with someone (cruising the personals) and found a couple of guys that caught my attention. One of them was Rob and the other was ... well, some cute guy we'll call Charlie. Rob responded first and we started really hitting it off. Somehow we scheduled for him to spend a couple of nights with me. Charlie soon after got home and responded too. We started talking and somehow got him invited for the next night as well.

Well, however it happened it worked out that I met them both at about the, but not quite the exact, same time. Rob was the first one I was in bed with, but somehow I was in bed with the other guy the next night with Rob still in the vicinity. How that worked I'm not sure but it seemed that Rob went to sleep and I slipped out to get in bed with Charlie, but they were ... in the same room(?). I didn't stay in bed with Charlie, though. We were talking and things got pretty serious. We got to the topic of boyfriends and I mentioned how I was kind of seeing someone. He said "Well either you're seeing someone or you're not" so I left the bed and went to the living room sofa.

There was a fitted sheet on the sofa so I wrapped up in it. My sister was on the sofa across from me in the living room. We talked for a bit but I don't remember what all about now. Our conversation somehow went to cats and she told me she was hiding a bunch of kittens from our dad because he hates cats. I asked her were they were and she said matter-of-factly I was probably sitting on one of them. I exclaimed "What?!" and moved to look where I was sitting and, sure enough, there was a, uninjured, kitten that looked almost like Tawny (my brother's cat).

I don't remember what happened next ... more haze than I recall but the highlight of however it happened was that I found Charlie had hung himself. I woke up after that.

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Well, there are some rather interesting things about this.

For example, right now the 'blanket' on my bed is a fitted sheet. Yes, I'm using a fitted sheet as my blanket.

Another thing is that Charlie looked/felt suspiciously like one of the guys in my porn collection who I happen to think is very cute, but he also looks like a guy I used to know named Chris. Odd, that there.
Edit: Wait wait, he also looked suspiciously like one of Stephen's friends (and exes), Lukas. Ahumm.... very interesting that.

Third thing is that I've been wanting a kitten for some time. It's only fitting that it would look like Tawny because I don't really like Tawny's look. When my sister got him for my brother my words were "A look [only] a mother would love" (Shallow of me, I know, but ... well, Rob knows what I'm talking about. Maybe).

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As for Rob, I'm at a "We're kind of boyfriends, but not really." (We've termed it as lovers so far) ... I would like to be boyfriends, but I'm not sure how to handle some things on my end. I don't have a job or an income, and it looks less and less like I ever will. If the right opportunity presented itself I could see myself having a job, but I'm tired of these "we don't care anything about you, now do menial labor that anyone still in high school could do and make minimum wage before we fire you anyway" jobs. The kicker is I certainly don't seem motivated to find anything better, and am likely to stay jobless.

I have been helping my brother and sister out with their real estate investment business taking care of the incoming calls and driving them to their appointments in Jackson (TN, an hour away), but it doesn't look like that'll be turning profitable for a while still, though... If I could get the capital to get started in a big city, such as Cincinnati, I think it would work much better, but my brother is strapped for cash as it is fielding operations here.

I asked d2leddy and vbseth what they did in similar circumstances but vbseth seems to be busy with work and other things so I haven't gotten anything back yet. I admit, I am being impatient because I'd like to resolve my own problem however I don't know where to start.

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Well, that's enough for one entry.

Current Mood: awake awake
Current Music: "Follow Through" by Gavin DeGraw

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