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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
A dream I don't want to end
I've been having a really weird dream this morning, and I don't want it to end.

It started out with a group camping trip into the woods with a bunch of guys. We've all formed a half-circle around the adviser and we're talking about one thing or another, mostly just introducing ourselves. I'm on one end of the half circle and the guy next to me is sitting on something a little higher than me. He sort of leans over and rests on my shoulder as everyone is talking. He looks down at me and winks, making me feel giddy. Afterwards he invited me to join him at his tent and I accept. We talk until eventually the awkwardness breaks and we snuggle a little until we go to bed. By the morning he's not as friendly and stops talking to me when we get back in group circle.

We get back in group circle for breakfast, where I meet another guy. We only give light introductions before breakfast is over and it's time to head into town. I get on a 4-wheeler and drive off towards town. I only get as far as a gas station where I expect to meet my ride (my brother and sister) but no one shows. Then the guy I was just talking to that morning shows up and offers me a ride to his place. I accept since I don't think my ride will be showing up after all.

On the way I tell him about the previous night for whatever reason. He asks me if I'm taken and I hesitate then say yes. He looks at me questionably and asks why I'm fooling around with other guys then. I tell him that we're not monogamous, but we're not exactly open either; we just are. He accepts that as is and about that time we get to his place; a nice little place off a country road. Once there we start playing connect the dots using a plastic car model case using the sliding slot dividers to make the connections. The guy doesn't do anything to indicate he's interested, nor does he do anything to dissuade the possibility. He remains at a distance and it frustrates me.

It's at this time I wake up for the umpteenth time and decide to come out here (in the living room) to write it down. I want to go back to sleep and keep dreaming because I don't want it to end. It makes my life interesting like nothing else. I feel like there's some sort of breakthrough just around the corner. Something that will make it (my life) interesting.

But it isn't real. *sigh* The source of entertainment and variety in my life is in my dreams.

Current Mood: crushed crushed
Current Music: "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely" by Backstreet Boys

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