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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
Stream of Consciousness Release
I keep forgetting that not everyone is as convulsed as me.

Ok, quite honestly, that's not how it is or looks. It's something a bit more hypocritical and down-right snob-nosed. I don't want to understand why people do what they do but I can see it all too clearly.

I keep forgetting that not everyone is as mature, logical, or advanced as I am.

I know that makes me look conceited, but I can only kid myself so long to think people can change. People can't change. It takes months and years to form new habits and even longer to let go of old ones. To think that someone will stop being who they are is ... unreasonable. I am unreasonable in my expectations. Very high and idealistic expectations, but nothing this world can handle.

I think the entire reason I can't get along with the rest of the world is because of this. I expect people to act with a certain sense of dignity and sensibility, but to most people it's all the pomp and superfluous activities and/or that everything is about them. I expect people to use their brain, but most people don't think until after they're already made an outcry of helplessness or ...

*sigh* Sometimes I wish I wasn't of this world. Sometimes I wish I wasn't at all. But then I remember this is the only world I have.

PS: This isn't a cry for help or a suicide note. I just need to get some thoughts out of my head and this is the only place I have to put them. You're welcome to comment if you want but I may not feel like talking about it.

Current Mood: cranky cranky
Current Music: None

2 comments or Leave a comment
raist_ From: raist_ Date: April 17th, 2006 06:10 pm (UTC) (Link)

Multiple points of view...

On the other hand, everyone is not as immature, illogical, or base as you are either. To further complicate things, everyone is not as (im)mature, (il)logical, etc. as they appear to be. How someone may appear at one particular point may not define them as a person, and indeed, you will never truly "know" that person until you are literally inside their head, and have lived all that they have lived.

Everyone is simply different. Such is the nature of everyone.

Honestly (not to be harsh, this is only the truth), I've considered a fair number of your past exploits to be immature. I try not to consider myself better then you, as I have had my own share of stupid shit. Pride is indeed my personal sin, so it's a bit hard to not think myself better then those I see fuckup around me. But I still know I'm not better then anyone. Realistically, I'm probably not "better" then anyone. I'm simply me. Just as noone else is likely "better" then myself. We're simply ourselves; no more, no less.
neo_prodigy From: neo_prodigy Date: April 17th, 2006 06:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
you're not the only one who feels that way.

they say that behind every pessimist is a frustrated idealist.
2 comments or Leave a comment