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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
Broken Gaydar
There are many days where I wish my gaydar wasn't broken. Not that knowing would give me the courage to say anything.
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Comments
sisyphus238 From: sisyphus238 Date: November 12th, 2006 03:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Mine's the same way. I see someone I'm attracted to and attend to everything they do in an effort to read into their actions the notion that they may be interested in me as well. It never pans out and I am left constantly doubting my impulses.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: November 12th, 2006 04:05 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't even have to worry about doubting my impulses; I know my gaydar is broken. I'd hit on a straight guy just as fast as I would hit on a gay one if I had the courage. I know this because I've seen plenty of guys with girls who are quite obviously their girlfriend and I'm still attracted to them. There is one thing or another about most guys that make me attracted to them.
trevorfrost From: trevorfrost Date: November 12th, 2006 04:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Being attracted to straight people doesn't mean your gaydar is broken. Gaydar is more complicated than simply being attracted, it involves poking and prodding, and questioning.

Being attracted to straight people is just depressing because its like being allergic to metal like my sister is. She loves jewlery but she can only wear real gold and hypoallergenic stuff which is a far smaller percentage of stuff to choose from..
zimzat From: zimzat Date: November 12th, 2006 06:24 am (UTC) (Link)
poking and prodding

Mmmhmm, of course. *shifty eyes*

Gaydar is more complicated than simply being attracted

I'm not sure what else I could possibly use as an indicator. Earrings don't mean anything these days, and the ability to "look nice" is a very relative term (which means I don't possess the usual ability myself). I have a hard time jumping to assumptions about anyone based on common things, so the only time I can tell if a person is gay is if they're wearing something that says "pride" (I think I'm going to start wearing something that says "pride". Something that is obvious yet not gaudy or sexual).
sisyphus238 From: sisyphus238 Date: November 12th, 2006 04:55 am (UTC) (Link)

I can almost always count on a guy being straight if I'm attracted to him. I'm not quite sure what that means.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: November 12th, 2006 06:25 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm pretty sure I'm not straight. ;-)
mroctober From: mroctober Date: November 12th, 2006 07:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ditto.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: November 13th, 2006 12:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah. :-(
solopatriot From: solopatriot Date: November 13th, 2006 02:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Gaydar is pretty much a supposed sixth sense that some persons of LGB persuasion have been known to have. This is a fact acknowledged throughout history including the extremely anti-gay Himmler with the German SS. I can't remember his name, but there is a student at Harvard doing master's level research on this phenomenon right now.

To me gaydar is more of a physical element than biological. I notice the way another man moves; where he allows his eyes to linger; the type of conversation we have. Other gay men seem to have an openness if not at least hunger in their eyes. And sometimes yes, I just have a sense about people.
But regardless of how good anyone's gaydar is, no one is right 100% of the time. I say don't worry so much about flirting as starting a conversation and see where it goes from there.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: November 14th, 2006 04:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've always had trouble making assumptions about people. It's both a gift and a curse. It's a gift because I don't make snap to judge people based on how they look, and it's easier to get to know the real person behind the stereotype. It's a curse, though, because I can't identify people based on their stereotype, so no gaydar. To me there are too mannerisms that can swing both ways (straight and gay) for me to tell. Heck, everyone I've asked about myself said they wouldn't have known I was gay if I hadn't told them.

If you don't mind my asking, I'm curious to know how you found my journal. (I don't mind; really. I'm just curious)
solopatriot From: solopatriot Date: November 14th, 2006 06:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was just browsing through journals in TN and the icon caught my eye. So I decided to drop in and take a peek at your journal. I live in Memphis, and use LJ as my sounding board. So whenever I find interesting people, I try to friend them.

And yeah much the same for me. Most of my friends now didn't have a clue when they first met me. But for some reason I've always been able to tell. Guess it was having to play the guessing game so well while in the military.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: November 14th, 2006 06:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ya know, when I first created and started using that icon like a year ago no one said anything. Since I set it back to being the default one within the last couple of months I've gotten at least half a dozen or more comments about it. Heck, even one of the LiveJournal admins have commented on it. o.o

There have been a few girls here and there who could tell, or at least were suspicious and asked, but no guys.
irish_n_sac From: irish_n_sac Date: November 13th, 2006 04:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Umm I don't think it's broken it just takes time to get use ta and read the sign's correctly.. some people have a awesome Gaydar and some people have a ok one.
I believe gaydar is more of an ability to decipher the subtle signs that guys / gals send. It's your perception of , attitudes, emotion, disposition, and plan'ol body language..
I always look for the eye contact and the position of their stance / body language...lol but most of the time I'm drinking so I just go up to and talk to them.. or they head over...

By the way your cute let their Gaydar do the work for you..:o)
zimzat From: zimzat Date: November 14th, 2006 04:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've always had trouble making assumptions about people. It's both a gift and a curse. It's a gift because I don't make snap to judge people based on how they look, and it's easier to get to know the real person behind the stereotype. It's a curse, though, because I can't identify people based on their stereotype, so no gaydar. To me there are too mannerisms that can swing both ways (straight and gay) for me to tell. Heck, everyone I've asked about myself said they wouldn't have known I was gay if I hadn't told them.
irish_n_sac From: irish_n_sac Date: November 14th, 2006 06:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
"everyone I've asked about myself said they wouldn't have known I was gay if I hadn't told them."

I've had the same thing said about me...Of course people can tell when I'm in a typical "gay" surrounding, club, bar, male strip review..
But then again I like not looking like the Stereo-type. hat's also the kind of guy I'm attracted to also..
zimzat From: zimzat Date: November 14th, 2006 06:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
I do think it would be a good idea for me to find some way to accurately convey that I am gay without going over the top or making it seem like I'm just trying to get sex. And therein lies the problem, because most pride accessories are either too obvious or mostly used to identify sexual partners.

I've only gone to a gay club once. It was a Friday night and there were less than a dozen people there. It was ... not my cup of tea. It was also in a medium size town (Jackson, TN).
irish_n_sac From: irish_n_sac Date: November 14th, 2006 07:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nah why do you have ta "Convey" your gay..and as for Accessories I have a small Pride sticker on my SUV and I have a Care Bear in the front seat it has a rainbow earring in it's ear ( from my dad) that's about as gay as it gets..

I don't mind when people have the stuff on and sometimes it's kinda cute but it's just not for me..
I agree with you get ta know me and get your conclusion from there...but alas not to many guys do that....:o(
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