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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
In death do we speak
Lately I've been thinking about death a lot. How many ways I could die at my place or anywhere else and probably no one would know for quite a while. My job would probably just terminate my employment. I have enough money saved that it would still be a couple of months before my rent would go unpaid. Any local friends or acquaintances would probably think I was giving them a "hint" to go away (if they bothered at all).

This leads me to wonder what people would say at my eulogy. Would they praise my intellect and say what a great person I was? Or would they just be saying that to not speak ill of the dead? Even in death I would prefer people who spoke about me to be honest, but I prefer that were honest in life too.

Probably not the entry you envisioned when you nudged me, eh shear_logic? :-P

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: "Love Again" by Cascada

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Comments
sisyphus238 From: sisyphus238 Date: December 12th, 2007 03:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Are you okay? You sound pretty lonely. I've had similar thoughts before and they were usually accompanied by a certain amount of loneliness. If that's the case I hope something comes your way to take your mind off it. It's a lousy time of year to feel desolate, I know.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: December 12th, 2007 03:27 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm alright.

The other day I was putting together my computer desk finally. In the process I had to screw in some joint thing-a-ma-bobs. Before putting them into their respective slots in other boards they stuck out a good inch and a half. I had to reach over some to screw in others, and in doing so I imagined what would happen if I slipped and impaled myself on one or more of them.

Separately, when crossing a major street between oncoming traffic I often imagine what would happen if my car were to suddenly stall. It's not so much that I think my car is likely to do this... it's just the off chance that something goes freakishly wrong.

Yes, I do have too much free time to be thinking about these things.

As for the 'lousy time of the year to feel desolate', shear_logic is going to be flying over the 24th and leaving the 2nd. It's not much, but I won't be alone anyway. Now to hope we get along ok. *cross fingers* heh
sisyphus238 From: sisyphus238 Date: December 12th, 2007 03:37 am (UTC) (Link)
You've not met in Real Life before?
He's friends with another LJ friend of mine monja_alferez who is pretty neat. I believe they went to The Netherlands together thought I may be confused. I would be surprised if you didn't get along.

I'm glad things are good for you. As I said, my mind often does the same thing because I live alone and wonder at times how long it would take for people to notice my absence.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: December 12th, 2007 03:47 am (UTC) (Link)
No, we haven't met in person.

He's also a friend of romeohotel, who is my ex (not a bad thing), and they have met in person. There is almost a question of who met who first, but as far as I can tell romeohotel and I met shear_logic separately around the same time on LiveJournal.

Things aren't really "good"... they're just not bad. In other words they're just "Alright". *shrug* I can live with that.
swanhart From: swanhart Date: December 12th, 2007 06:43 am (UTC) (Link)
When my friend Woody died, a number of people including myself made honest, frank and often funny remarks about the deceased when it was our turn to speak at the service.

I would hope anyone's friends would do the same.

The topic is kinda morbid though :)
foucaultonacid From: foucaultonacid Date: December 12th, 2007 07:23 am (UTC) (Link)
oh yeah - been around that a lot lately... *hugs* and have fun when you nudge shear logic in real life - though i've not met him, he is, i'm assured, a very thoughtful sweetheart
raist_ From: raist_ Date: December 13th, 2007 02:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
:)

I'd state at your eulogy that you were actually straight, and the liking guys thing was "just a phase."

Y'know, just to piss you off enough to come back and haunt me.

Cuz if I'm stuck in this world, then I'm going to make others suffer through it with me. ;)

<3

On a side note, how's life been? You've been pretty quiet of late.
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