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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
Hosting etiquette: Preparing content for guests
I have a question for the general public. Let's say you're going to be entertaining guests at your home. The guest list includes a co-worker, his wife, and some of their friends (most, if not all, of which you've hung out with together before). They're all religious to some degree, although not fanatical. The co-worker and wife know you're gay and don't seem to have a problem with it. A certain incident during one hang out has probably lead the other friends to suspect, if not know, you're gay.

Suppose you keep your movie collection in the living room. In this collection are some gay-orientated movies such as To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar, Just a Question of Love, Touch of Pink, and Shelter. Would you minimize uncomfortable situations where the guests discover these movies, or leave them out?

For reference here is a picture of what my movie racks currently look like. As you can see the gay themed movies are already organized together but not located at the bottom, supposedly where they're less likely to get noticed (unless you're someone who starts looking at movies from the bottom up).

Poll #1323966 Hosting Etiquette

What to do with the gay movies when entertaining guests?

Keep them exactly where they are
Separate them at the bottom of the rack
Move them to a private location

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
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10 comments or Leave a comment
mcfnord From: mcfnord Date: January 2nd, 2009 04:30 am (UTC) (Link)
The shelves themselves are queer! They're not straight at all!
zimzat From: zimzat Date: January 2nd, 2009 05:45 am (UTC) (Link)
... hahaha. I hadn't thought of it that way. Then again I cringe every time I hear someone say "Not straight; gayly forward". :-P
sisyphus238 From: sisyphus238 Date: January 2nd, 2009 04:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Those movies are harmless. It would be something else again were it hard core porn, and even then, so what if they see it. It is what it is.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: January 2nd, 2009 05:49 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't think hard-core porn would be an appropriate subject matter for new friends, much less hard core gay porn to a straight couple. If it's left out it has a chance of being a topic of conversation, and a very awkward one at that. Maybe the wife might have different opinions (much slash is written by straight, often married, females), but the co-worker and all the friends ... probably not so much. If this were explicit porn of any type I'd say best to only take it out when it would be appropriate to watch it or talk about it. As for this I'm going to go with watching a gay themed movie even by straight people might yet be within the realm of possibilities (I certainly watch enough straight movies...).
ellixis From: ellixis Date: January 2nd, 2009 04:46 am (UTC) (Link)
If it were porn, it'd be different, but I expect you wouldn't be leaving that out anyway. As it is, it's just movies; I honestly don't see why they would make anybody but the most homophobic sorts of people uncomfortable.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: January 2nd, 2009 05:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes, I see your point. I think I'll leave them where they are to test the waters. If they get noticed it would be a good way to see what their reactions are and if it becomes an issue.

Thank you. I was sitting on the fence between all of the above options, largely due to my lack of experience in social situations. I wasn't sure what would be appropriate.
irish_n_sac From: irish_n_sac Date: January 2nd, 2009 02:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
yeah you should leave them right where they are, I have a bunch of str8 friends that have some of those titles... but also remember they have been invited to your house, and if they are anything like my coworkers their friends will know about you before hand ;)

p.s I thought I'd see for SciFi in there..
From: better_angel Date: January 2nd, 2009 02:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've lived with my partner 15 years and we've gone through a progression of initially hiding everything gay whenever ANYONE came over to now, where unless our guests are paying our mortgage, they can shut up and be as gracious guests as we are hosts. :-)

It's your house and if they have a problem with it they can opt not to return.
kishenehn From: kishenehn Date: January 3rd, 2009 05:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
I confess that I keep most of my gay movies in a separate area. I started doing that because I've got a couple of friends with small kids who like to paw through my movies looking for my Loony Tunes DVDs and such ... and I didn't want the parents to feel awkward about that.

The system's breaking down, though, because I noticed that Shortbus and my Greg Araki films have been sitting in the main pile for ages. Maybe it's time to buy new shelves, and consolidate.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: January 3rd, 2009 08:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have you talked to the friends with kids to find out what they think? I assume they know you're gay? I would think that if they know and have been to your place before then they may not mind (as long as it's not porn or too sexual). Then again I've been wrong before.
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