Russell (zimzat) wrote,
Russell
zimzat

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Poly/Dating Boundaries; Guy Ideals

I'm at Einstein Brothers having a wrap, mocha, and some fruit while catching up on some feeds. I'm charging my phone from the netbook at the same time as the phone is tethering the netbook wirelessly.

At the moment I'm reading through recent entries on The Polyamorous Misanthrope. One of them talks about defining boundaries and what boundaries truely are. They aren't "You can't" but "I won't", as they're only about you. So I'm taking one of her examples and attempting to write some of my own. While I'm at it, though, I'm also going to write down some of my general desires and ideals out of guys that I want.

My Poly/Dating Boundaries:

  • “I choose not to remain in relationships with arbitrary rule changes”
  • I will not date someone who has veto power over anything I do, nor will I veto them.
  • I will not date someone who does not understand that No means No means No, not try again later or do it anyway.
  • I will not date someone who tries to rush me (not necessarily as the same thing as going fast, but confirms intentions).
  • I won't date someone who tries to push their opinions or beliefs on me.

My Dating Wants:

  • I want to date someone who will call me out if I'm wrong.
  • Likes being touchy-feely, but not necessarily sexual.
  • Is open about intentions and isn't afraid to suggest ideas.

PS: The nervous mood is because I'm being chicken about approaching one of the people who work here to ask them out. Maybe I should start living by more of my own guy ideals, like the one about having open intentions.

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