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Rules to socially acceptable socializing - The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
Rules to socially acceptable socializing
I am discovering that I simply don't have time to play it safe or wait and see. I'm in one place for only so long and there isn't time for things to develop "naturally". I'm learning to pursue what I want and hope for the best. Be bold, be unusual, and most of all I'm not following the accepted social norms for socializing. I'm still learning, though.

I need a sign that says something like "Care to chat? Interrupt me!" or another way to indicate such. I may be sitting in a coffee house on my laptop typing away, but if someone sat down in the chair across the table I'd stop to chat with them, no problem. Yet generally the idea of just sitting down next to someone and start a conversation with them is frowned on. Why is that? Are most humans so shy, or think everyone else is too? That they would be offended? Quite possibly. I know that's why I haven't done it already. That and I figure they would be offended if they knew the reason I wanted to start a conversation with them was as selfish as I think they're cute and would like to get to know them. Maybe that's not really selfish.

Current Mood: frustrated frustrated

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Comments
proemial From: proemial Date: May 13th, 2010 11:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Hello! Yes, you, reading this sign. Feel free to say hi!"

Some will find it very very creepy. Others won't.

Only way to see if it works is to try.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 14th, 2010 12:13 am (UTC) (Link)
A shirt!

Stop Reading
Start Talking
(Yes, You)
proemial From: proemial Date: May 14th, 2010 12:14 am (UTC) (Link)
As amusing as that is, I wonder if it would work?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 14th, 2010 12:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I have no clue but I'd love to find out. I wonder where I could get one made locally in a hurry.

Another version would be to substitute "Reading" for "Looking". Although, not quite as catchy?
proemial From: proemial Date: May 14th, 2010 01:15 am (UTC) (Link)
"looking" add a level of vanity that I think might be a put-off. akin to the "stop looking at my breasts" tshirts.
lakeguy From: lakeguy Date: May 14th, 2010 04:30 am (UTC) (Link)
it doesn't help you now but there is a company here called Bang on that makes custom shirts like that.
lakeguy From: lakeguy Date: May 14th, 2010 04:31 am (UTC) (Link)
I was thinking the same thing but then I thought. it may attract all the people you don't want to talk too
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 14th, 2010 03:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Women? Fat slobs? Crazy homeless people?

I can handle women and fat slobs (etc). It's just socializing after all and if they can hold a conversation then it'll be worth it. Talking to a cute guy would just be a bonus. ;-)

I am a little concerned about the crazy homeless people, but I'll deal with that when it happens rather than let it stop me.
andrewshead From: andrewshead Date: May 14th, 2010 08:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
halogencycle From: halogencycle Date: May 14th, 2010 09:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
The shirt is way less creepy than the sign. Although both have an air of desperation to them, however unintentional.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 15th, 2010 03:27 am (UTC) (Link)
I think I'm just going to have to deal with the 'desperation' aspect if I want to get away from the personal space culture that we Americans seem so fond of.

I've gotten the shirt made. I plan on wearing it tomorrow so I'll get a picture posted while wearing it. :-)
halogencycle From: halogencycle Date: May 14th, 2010 09:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is one of those things that varies a lot from culture to culture. Americans have a strong sense of personal space, while some other cultures don't.

One of the problems of starting conversations at random is that most people feel burned from a substantial number of the random conversations started in with them in the past. When someone starts a random conversation with me in a public space, chances are 90%+ that he or she is hitting me up for money or trying to sell me on Jesus or L. Ron Hubbard. And when people are trying to sell you something, they often take a long time to get around to the ask, which makes you feel even more burned when you realize you're just a mark to them.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 15th, 2010 03:29 am (UTC) (Link)
That's an excellent point. I forgot how every time someone has approached me they always wanted something. I'll have to keep that in mind when approaching other people so that I can head that one off at the pass.
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