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The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
Squeeze Dominance
Food for thought: Squeezing someone while cuddling has the same effect/meaning as squeezing a hand when meeting someone.

When squeezing someone's hand it asserts dominance between two people.

Just a thought.

Current Location: Seattle, WA
Current Mood: amused

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mai_neh From: mai_neh Date: July 19th, 2010 11:52 am (UTC) (Link)
If true, do you mind people asserting dominance over you?
zimzat From: zimzat Date: July 19th, 2010 04:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
In general, no. In the scenario laid out above, while cuddling or holding hands, I'll squeeze right back. :-)

I also squeeze back if someone shaking my hand takes a really firm grip.

The intention is different in each scenario, yet in a way the response is the same. hmm...
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zimzat From: zimzat Date: July 19th, 2010 04:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hahahaha. Yeah, that's Dominance alright. :-P

Have you been slapping Ray on the ass? ;-)
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zimzat From: zimzat Date: July 19th, 2010 04:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Do you use hypnotic suggestions to make sure he has one to be taken?
im_confused From: im_confused Date: July 19th, 2010 05:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hmm, I've never seen hand-squeezing or squeezing while cuddling as a sign of dominance... more as just a display of intense affection. At least that's the way I've perceived it in my relationships. But then, I've also found that everyone is a little different when it comes to interpersonal relationships and how they deliberately (or inadvertently) express themselves.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: July 19th, 2010 05:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Those are words I've been lacking when trying to describe the perceived implication. "Intense affection" is how I've always perceived it as well. The perception that it is about dominance is a new, somewhat amusing, alternate thought about it. I don't actually subscribe to that view. :-)
legolastn From: legolastn Date: July 19th, 2010 05:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's an interesting thought. On reflection, the (conscious) messages I think that I am wanting to convey when squeezing someone while cuddling are:
* I want/like to be/stay close to you
* I want you to stay here with me
* I want to stay here with you/I don't want to go
* I'll be right back
* I want to be squeezed
* I'm reading to or need to do something else
Similar messages might be conveyed when squeezing someone's hand while holding hands (rather than in greeting).

I think some of these could be interpreted as an assertion of dominance, at least a "soft" form - I'm asserting what I want. They could also be interpreted as a reassurance or desire for reassurance, though. Which could perhaps also be interpreted as related to dominance - a desire to feel protected by someone dominant? That seems a bit reductionist though. Is mutual dominance still rightly called dominance? I'm not sure given I'm not necessarily talking about a "switch" sort of situation.
vaelynphi From: vaelynphi Date: July 19th, 2010 06:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
::squeezes your bum::
zimzat From: zimzat Date: July 19th, 2010 06:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
*does the Pillsbury Dough Boy sound* Oh my... :-D
scixual From: scixual Date: July 19th, 2010 06:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'd have to judge case by case, but I don't think this is how I have generally experienced squeezing and being squeezed.
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