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Daily Confession - The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
Daily Confession
Today I have a confession to make. I've been with Ben for several months now. We've even lived together for almost a month. Things are going alright, and we're not fighting. I still like him just fine. There are only two issues I have at this point. The main one is that I want some variety to mix things up. Do something different, hang out with someone different, ... just in general mix it up some. It's not easy to find someone polyamorous to date in my situation, as most guys my age are still enamoured by the idea of their "one true love" or "knight in shining armor", or are only looking for someone to have sex with on the side.

I need to make more of an effort to chat up people on OkCupid and other places. There's even a few cute guys at my work, one of which I've caught staring in my general direction a few times. Probably just my imagination, though...

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Comments
heartirony From: heartirony Date: June 23rd, 2011 02:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have you tried checking out fetlife.com? It is a pretty good for finding sophisticated poly people.
legolastn From: legolastn Date: June 23rd, 2011 03:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Second this. It's an interesting little dating/community site.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: June 23rd, 2011 11:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Cool, thanks for the recommendation. I've signed up and filled out a little bit of the profile. I haven't figured out how to search for other members yet, though. =\ *shrug*
legolastn From: legolastn Date: June 24th, 2011 01:16 am (UTC) (Link)
You can only do particular types of searches, which is supposed to be a feature rather than a bug. Any search you do goes through the search box at the top I believe.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: June 27th, 2011 12:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
So it's not really a personals site at all, but just a community site. If someone can't at least filter based on location and even just basic stats (orientation, gender, age) then it would be a waste of time to ever expect any relationships to form out of it. It's like going to my polyamory group in Vegas; There for over two years and only met two gay guys and neither of them matched on age or interest.

Meh. *shrug* I'll try to get around to uploading photo and filling out the general info box some time this week.
legolastn From: legolastn Date: June 27th, 2011 09:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
I would say it is intended primarily as a community site, yes. You can filter by location, but only to browse - this probably works better for less populated areas, except there are also likely to be fewer people who meet what you are looking for. Some areas also have associated groups, some of which may be devoted to or allow posting "personal ads" (or if it's a GLBT group, then members are likely to be GLBT, obv).

Certainly one criticism I have of the site's approach is that it inherently disadvantages GLBTs who want to connect with other GLBTs (for community or dating) because any browsing results are going to be dominated by straight people due to sheer relative numbers.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: June 23rd, 2011 11:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
I hadn't. I've signed up and am trying to fill out my profile. I haven't figured out how to do searches for other members yet.
heartirony From: heartirony Date: June 24th, 2011 12:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Fetlife has an interesting philosophy on searching. It was set up to foster community, so the lines are blurred between categories. The idea is that you create a detailed profile, join related groups and set up interests, and browse the profiles of other people in those groups or who share those interests and read their profiles to see who is interesting. It is labor intensive, but simply trying to compare stats hadn't worked well for the site creator so this is his solution.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: June 27th, 2011 12:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
So it's not really a personals site at all, but just a community site. If someone can't at least filter based on location and even just basic stats (orientation, gender, age) then it would be a waste of time to ever expect any relationships to form out of it. It's like going to my polyamory group in Vegas; There for over two years and only met two gay guys and neither of them matched on age or interest.

Meh. *shrug* I'll try to get around to uploading photo and filling out the general info box some time this week.
andrewshead From: andrewshead Date: June 23rd, 2011 02:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Being poly this doesn't surprise me at all. Is there a poly-dating/okcupid like site?


I still think you should hit on the cafeteria guy at work.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: June 23rd, 2011 11:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
OkCupid is semi-poly friendly. The only problem is that there are very few poly people (or easy to tell poly) on there. It's not possible to search for just 'Available' (in a relationship, still available), although keyword searches for 'poly' and 'polyamorous' work, except almost no one puts that on their profile. And I figure most people don't realize why it says 'Available'. Maybe.

I'm checking out the site the two comments above have mentioned.

I wouldn't mind as well, but the conversations are always very frank and to-the-point, so not much opening for casual conversation. =\
legolastn From: legolastn Date: June 27th, 2011 09:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
"What time do you get off? Would you like to get off right after work?"

*rimshot*
zimzat From: zimzat Date: June 27th, 2011 10:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Unfortunately I can't just go off saying stuff like that randomly. =\ It'd have to be toned down to 'want to hang out after work?' >_>

... *shrug*
13 comments or Leave a comment