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Sometimes it's not about intent, it's about perception & understanding - The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
Sometimes it's not about intent, it's about perception & understanding
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mai_neh From: mai_neh Date: July 23rd, 2012 08:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've had to work very hard at finding ways to acknowledge what Tod is saying before attempting to trump him with my own views. It has been difficult because I often think his feelings are based on faulty memories or complete misunderstandings. So my default reaction is, "You shouldn't feel that way, blah blah blah," which drives him up the wall.

It is difficult to say with a straight face, "I understand where you are coming from, Tod," when I don't. But it helps a lot.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: July 23rd, 2012 08:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Agreed, it can be hard to acknowledge where someone else is coming from while still not changing your own opinion or view.

From what you've just said you probably could understand where Tod is coming from based on what he says he's coming from, but this sounds more like a factual issue than a different perception of the same facts (e.g. un-emotive text). That would drive me up the wall, when someone calls into question my memory of events. I know I have a really good memory and, more often than not, astonish people with random recall of conversations or events that they're not sure about, so when someone says things happened one way and I'm sure they didn't in that order then it drives me up the wall. I've had this happen to me a couple of times from the same person and I started seriously questioning our relationship.
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