The other thing I realized is that barely any of them are on OkCupid, Grindr, or wherever. Some are forever lost to the online world thanks to scares of privacy concerns, Facebook stalking, and stranger danger, but some are still online yet hide their presence so only known people can find them.
This made me realize that I need to find a way of putting myself out there more, beyond the passive interactions of OkCupid, and getting to know more people on a personal level. I've already made two attempts at getting out more often, with the Ballroom / Swing dance class and the Fiction Writing Workshop, but both of those have fizzled on a personal or potentially romantic level. While I need to find other methods I don't want to rush out and sign up for another half dozen classes. I have a very limited amount of energy to devote to them and scheduling them back to back is even worse; it also limits the available time to actually socialize outside of these limited structures(!).