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The Pink/Gray/Rainbow Elephant in the room - The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
The Pink/Gray/Rainbow Elephant in the room
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legolastn From: legolastn Date: April 29th, 2013 05:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, unless you're talking about the science of sexuality, or books that deal with sexuality, or movies that deal with sexuality. :)

Sexuality also implicitly organizes relationships that aren't obviously sexualized or are obviously de-sexualized. For example, being in a context with a lot of straight men that assume everyone is a straight man, they interact with each other and with you under the assumption nobody is (potentially) attracted to anybody. That fact is just covered over by the hegemony of heterosexism.

As a conspicuously coupled gay man I don't really get the assumption of straight or if I do it's generally through a question like whether Allen and I are brothers, which quickly gets disspelled since usually we clarify we're partners unless we're feeling like it is a potentially unsafe situation. I guess the place where straightness is assumed the most is in classes by students, since my sexuality isn't always relevant to courses so I don't always tell my classes, but any student with half a clue who comes to my office hours ought to be able to figure it out. I do think there is an assumption of monogamy for those who know us as a couple, but I don't get a lot of stereotyped assumptions directed at me either. I have rarely if ever been asked questions about fashion out of the blue. Maybe moreso about RuPaul's Drag Race but it's usually prefaced by the question of whether I watch/have watched it. I guess this difference in experience might have to do with relative experience and knowledge of social circles re: the gays (and maybe diversity in general), with academia and hippie communes tending to be a bit more experienced/sensitive to issues of sexual orientation?
legolastn From: legolastn Date: April 29th, 2013 05:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Or for that matter any book or movie where discussion of sexuality/attraction-related topics could be relevant.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 21st, 2013 06:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Touche. :-)

When you get asked if you watch RuPaul do they get that expression of confusion and disappointment if you say no?

I hadn't thought of the aspect of being partnered with someone, but that does make sense. When the aspect of being gay is on display people are less likely to assume the default heterosexual. I suppose that's why I've gone back to wearing the rainbow pendant (though I've got to remember to put it on before going out or it won't do me any good! hahaha).
legolastn From: legolastn Date: May 21st, 2013 09:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't know, I don't think anybody has ever asked me if I watch RuPaul...and I said no? Although I may say I only have seen it on Netflix.

Edited at 2013-05-22 01:38 am (UTC)
6 comments or Leave a comment