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Going straight for the panic button - The Autobiography of Russell
Life from a different perspective
zimzat
zimzat
Going straight for the panic button
One of the things I've been thinking about recently is why more people don't talk about the problems they're facing, especially when it comes to mental and emotional issues. Plenty of people get 'emo' and start whining, but few ask for help. I suspect one of the reasons why, and I know this is true of me especially, is because there may be a fear that people are going to jump straight for the panic button. If we're faced with a problem such as a bleeding cut we don't immediately call an ambulance, but when faced with a mental situation it's harder to analyze how serious the situation is when we're unsure just how much blood is too much. People may not know how to handle what is said so their first reaction is to fear the worst and go for the panic button. Call in the space marines, call the air force, call the psychiatric ward. This in turn really will destabilize and ruin their life if it wasn't already.

Another reason why more people may not talk about their issues, and this is also true of me, is that other people don't know about you're talking about so they stare blankly and try to relate based on their frame of reference. For example, if I were to say that watching a sunrise or sunset doesn't do anything for me, I may get blank stares and insistence that it really does and I just need to get in touch with my feelings. Another example would be when I say I don't know what love is and doubt I have ever or will ever feel what other people express as love, I'll get more admonitions that I've got to feel more or eventually my emotions will burst like a dam. Except, that's not how my brain works.

I've lost the last ~5 days to a bout of depression, though I'm starting to feel better now. I've posted a couple of private entries about it, not wanting to clog up your feed with negative posts or to alarm anyone into hitting the panic button, but the gist of it is a redux of many of the things noted in this previous entry. I'm remembering some of the realizations and resolutions that came about from that post as well so that's helping.
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gabeysf From: gabeysf Date: May 29th, 2013 05:58 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time. I've also been going through some stuff and feel like I can't talk to anyone. Like you, though, I've been journalling a bit and it's helped a little. Hope things get better.
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 30th, 2013 11:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. I hope things work out for you as well. Haven't seen you around much lately but nice to know you're still out there.
mai_neh From: mai_neh Date: May 29th, 2013 10:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Moods are tough little assholes sometimes. And trusting other people with them ... can drive them away, or make them want to swoop in and fix everything. And sometimes we want to drive people away, sometimes we want somebody to swoop in and fix everything. Other times we just need somebody to listen and say "that sucks."
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 30th, 2013 11:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Providing relevant advice or suggestions, though not trying to fix the problem, would be nice. Just listening without panicking would sufficient, though. My sense of self is too solid to end things but sometimes, for a moment, I may want it all to go away. Sometimes that may seem like I wand to end things, but I've got things to look forward to.

I just saw the Star Trek Voyager S2: Death Wish episode. I'm not to that point so I've got things to live for.
damnitnicole From: damnitnicole Date: May 29th, 2013 06:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Honestly, the only reason I'm any good at it is 10+ years of LJ with a good group of friends who helped me learn to process.

I think that when you're good at self-analysis, it's easy to forget that not everybody is even good enough at it to be aware that they can do more than whine, or even that sometimes they need to ask for help. Like, that level of self-awareness is (sadly) not baseline.

Also, if you don't have a good network of support, asking for help is the scariest thing in the world. Hell, even with good support, it can still be intimidating.

Edited at 2013-05-29 06:17 pm (UTC)
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 31st, 2013 12:03 am (UTC) (Link)
*nods* I agree. Thanks.

I imagine that culture conditioning leaves many of us ill-equipped for dealing with emotions. For example, when men are taught they shouldn't cry and should just suck it up it's likely not leading to actually solving the problem but just hiding it.
legolastn From: legolastn Date: May 30th, 2013 03:31 am (UTC) (Link)
mer.

*hugs*
zimzat From: zimzat Date: May 31st, 2013 12:00 am (UTC) (Link)
*hugs* Thanks. :]
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